As with all of Neil Strauss’s work it is sprinkled with golden nuggets, cutting analysis and insight but overall contains too much filler and average content.
Although it has a ‘pickup’ focus, most of the content is generally applicable to everything from day to day social interactions, business relationships and presenting.
More than any social dynamics teacher Neil provides insights into human nature that make it worth the time and cost. Even if you only learn and apply one thing from this course - you will become more interesting, if not the most interesting person in the room.
For me the early sections, about how to introduce your self i.e. focusing on being memorable over being understood, were the most valuable alongside how to elicit someone’s core value.
Overall I recommend some of his other courses over this that I'll be reviewing here soon.
Success in personal interactions comes down to the energy you project.
All about tribes. Only 3:
1. My tribe.
2. Tribe want to visit or belong to.
3. Tribe I don’t want to belong to.
Energy you bring. Body language
What you say
Stand out and be interesting
Adapt to different situation
Trust and congruent
Have a phrase. Interesting. Doesn’t need to be complete summary of what you do/who you are.
If struggling start with “I help people…”
Focus on being memorable not understood.
Even simple questions like what’s your favourite movie should have a beginning, middle and end.
Begin with Answer question with specific response.
Ends with “and that’s why xxx is my favourite movie”
Have one reason per story.
Middle should be experiential not technical. Why, lessons I learned, how it came about.
Think of every story as giving someone a piece of the puzzle to your identity. Should be multi faceted – don’t rely of being just smart or funny or adventurous.
Have canned responses to basics. Movie, music, books, food, country.
Constantly be looking to add stories to your kit. This makes life more interesting.
Record story and review. Transcribe and edit. Retell.
Integrate routines into stories.
Move impact word or sentence to end.
E.g. we grew 80% year on year becomes. Year on year we grew 80%.
Break a pattern of 3. 1, 2, 4.
Set up so people expect 1,2,3 then given them 1,2,4.
People aren’t interested in your story. They want to relate and see themselves in it.
Make general statement first to draw people in. Then use specifics so people can visualise.
Use presence tense when telling story. Act out with any voice you can.
Never end with q&a. Say I’m going to take some questions before finishing with my conclusion (1 or 3 points).
Start with a call back to something that happened before.
Easy funny is intentionally misinterpret what someone says.
Get someone’s core value:
1. What’s something you need to have in your life to make life worthwhile? What do you enjoy doing?
2. Was there a time when you had X that made you realise that you had to have it? Or what would ideal scenario of X be like? What does X allow you to do or experience?
3. When that happened. What feeling did you have inside?
Have a root and time limit. Body language and energy level.
Then break into their world.
Decide if to stay or bounce.
Make a connection.
What is an aspect of yourself that you sometimes don’t like about yourself and want to change?
Give it a name.
Describe what they look like.
Can’t really change ourselves. There was a time that side was useful but might not serve you now. Need to give them a job.
What is a job for them?
How many days do you think we live?
Only around 28k.
1/4 too young, 1/4 too old. Only half left. 1/3 sleeping. Under 10,000 days…
Have a CTA:
– jealously (other girls liking you)
– time scarcity
– arousal (verbal, physical, stories, visual)
– push pull tension
– social approval
Positive and optimistic.
Notice things – nails, shoes and jewellery good for woman. None obvious things.
Be centre of fun. Everyone feels like they are missing out on something. Use that. Create a world people want to be in.
Always make the healthier choice. Not just in diet but social and every aspect of life. Emotions and inner dialogue.
No one can make you feel inferior without your concept. Self esteem comes from within.